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from 1 Peter chapter 3 looking at looking at one verse.
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lots to say in one verse. I'm going to read uh 1 Peter 3:7. You husbands likewise live with your wives in an understanding way as with a
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weaker vessel since she is a woman and grant her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life so that your prayers may not be hindered. Let us pray.
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Our heavenly father, I do again ask that by your holy spirit you would speak to us as a body as individual men and husbands
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particularly as Peter addresses them. But, Father, for the the growth, the the building up of the church, for your
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honor and glory, and not that we would see these things in an eitheror, the world's view or your view, but walking
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in your way, in your will, as you address them to husbands. I ask these things in Christ's name. Amen.
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The whole section that Peter writes here beginning in chapter 2 verse 13 is under the the heading of be in submission for the
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Resonant aliens were to submit and still to submit to those in authority, the kings, he says, in their case the emperor or the governor. Household servants were to submit to
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their masters, their masters, as Peter says, the good as well as to the unreasonable masters.
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And in this section in chapter 3 verses 1-6, wives were to submit to their
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And later on in chapter 5, Peter will return to this idea of submission, younger men submitting to their elders.
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And here in verse 7, he says, "You husbands likewise." Does Peter mean that husbands are to submit to their
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wives? Well, I'm just going to say no. Uh, full stop. It is possible to read this the likewise that Peter refers to chapter 2 verse 18
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where he says to the servants be submissive to your masters with all respect or as we have learned the the word is fear with all fear of God
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respecting their position under God and being submissive with all fear here fearing God and living rightly before
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the world. the world. But the likewise seems to apply to what has already been said that as I delineated here that Peter is
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speaking to classes of people. He says something that pertains to all residents. Submit to the human
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institutions. Something that pertains to all servants to submit to their masters. Something that pertains to all married women. Submit to
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their husbands. their husbands. And now Peter addresses the husbands as a class. And he has something to say as it pertains to how they treat their
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wives in the context of the knowledge of God in Christ.
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power and authority by God in his own household. The scriptures say that. Now, some think that that Peter addresses husbands in the case of either a
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Christian wife or possibly an unbelieving wife. unbelieving wife. And further that he uses and is it's an
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adjective here. The New American Standard in verse 7 says, "Live with your wives." That's in italics. It's not actually in the Greek, but it uses the word since she is a woman. It's an
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adjective. It's describing the one, the woman one or some people believe that it actually should be translated female.
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And I read some books that I my helps of of the Greek language and translation and they'll say it has to be
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female and another one that I respect and say it has to be a woman. I'll give my answer here, but to fill out what some commentators say that it
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could be translated female. She is a female. And and therefore the husband being the head of the household that the female would
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include his wife, his daughters, his mother, his mother-in-law, and his
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sisters-in-law, having to treat them in the way that Peter describes here, in an understanding way and with honor.
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Others say that Peter is referring to referring to simply the woman, the wely one. Again,
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the adjective in in the historical context. It is possible that Peter is concerned about the management of the household. That that was something that has come across to us in chapters 2 and
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even going into chapter three. speaking of the wife that the need for harmony in the home, the need for the uh
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organization and the right conduct in the home as a witness to the community. And I don't think that's missing here.
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But when he refers to this woman as a fellow heir of the grace of life, I cannot I cannot help but think not only must she be a believer to
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inherit the grace of life, but in any case, the husband is to treat his wife regardless of her faith as if she were a sister in Christ.
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And since first century society would tend to assume that the wife followed the husband's religion, he would be expected to accord her the same respect whether she was a Christian or not.
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But again, I take it that this phrase co-airs of the grace of life must mean that Peter is addressing believing wives. And yet
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underlying this is the behavior of a men of man of man toward women. And yet there's an expectation here. And as I
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said last week, there are commentators who say this is not a marriage manual.
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But but Peter's a realist. Peter is a He knows they're living as resident aliens. He knows they're living in a a society of pagans and those who will be watching them, seeing how they relate to one
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another. And Peter has an expectation that the husband and his wife ought to live in the same house. translated literally, you husbands likewise live
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with, dwell with your wife. That that means no separation. Living in the same house, sharing the same bed, and yes, being intimate in your relationship with
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one another. There there's there's no separation here. The what comes across in the Greek is there is a continuation. This is this is not and there's again
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the argument in in the Greek is it's a participle and some say it cannot act as an imperative and some say it must act as an imperative but there's a there's a
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feeling here in the Greek that that Peter is not throwing husbands under the bus there's a feeling that he is saying
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I know that you're doing this and you are to continue doing this continuing to dwell with your wives in an
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understanding way, continuing to grant her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life. of life. No separation,
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emotionally, and physically. and physically. continuing to follow knowledge and continuing to live with your wife in an honorable and sanctified way.
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That's what he's expecting. Live with your wife.
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living. Live with your wives in an understanding way as with a weaker vessel since she is a woman.
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The question that has come up by the commentators and perhaps in your mind as well. What does Peter mean? Live according to knowledge.
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Some take it as according to the knowledge of God and others take it according to the knowledge of his wife.
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If a man lives according to the knowledge of God's will, scripture, seeing what God says through the apostles, through the Old and New Testaments, about living with his wife,
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he will know certain things about living with his wife as a woman.
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And if I understand this to be scriptural knowledge, I believe that it also tells us that scripture tells us that he must also
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I will not say that I understand all of what Paul means in Ephesians 5 when he encourages the husband to sanctify his wife by the washing of the
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water with the word. I think perhaps there's that combination that he must know the scriptures. The
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the idea in Ephesians 5 is the spoken word. It's saying the scriptures. It's teaching. But in order to teach it, you
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must also have learned it. And I think the same way in order to lead your wife, to teach your wife, you must not only
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know how to teach, but you must have learned some things. And so I would say that it's a combination of the knowledge of God's will from the scriptures, but also the
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knowledge of your wife. And there's no excuse. He is expecting again that you would
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live with your wives in an understanding way according to knowledge. No excuses. No excuses. I I heard it growing up from men that I
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was around. You hear at work, it's useless. I I don't understand women. And I guess I agree with the one
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commentator who said, "You as a husband, you don't under you don't have to understand all women. You just have to understand one." Yes. some background of
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who the female is, you know, and our society has that all screwed up. Sorry, my language,
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but he should be a lifelong student of his wife. his wife. One said, "It's like a scientist. You have to know what questions to ask and you have to know when to ask them to
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understand her. understand her. And sometimes asking those questions may not be what are you like, but getting her to tell you what you're
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like? What are the things that I do that you just cannot stand? What are the things about me that you would change if you could?
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learn. And I'll give you a hint. Peter doesn't say this is optional. It is a responsibility. But it is a responsibility that in the one words of
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one writer, it is also a skill that takes time to develop. And yet again by Peter saying this, continuing to dwell, continuing to
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understand, continuing to honor her, I think he understands men that we need time, but we need to learn
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and we need to keep on keeping on doing it. We need to learn things about our wives,
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her needs, her wants, her interests, her goals in life. Ask her about her dreams. What gives her joy? What gives her fear?
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What are your most fond memories? What are your greatest problems?
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Learning what do the various tones of her voice
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How does she process things? How does she think through the issues of the day? What are her gifts? What are her mo motivations?
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And I hadn't thought of this one, but someone said, "What are her temptations to sin?"
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And by the way, I'm not speaking just to husbands, but to young men who would want to be married. this you don't have to wait until
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marriage to start the living according to knowledge. Someone uh told me, I guess in a in a
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sermon before I was married, that it is helpful for the young man to look at the young lady he may be interested in and look at her
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relationship to her father because that will be a good indication of how she will treat you. And the same thing applies to the young lady. look at the
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young man to see his relation to his mother because again that will be perhaps not the tell all but the beginning of seeing how she will treat
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you or he will treat you. But Peter had to kick in this little phrase, did he not?
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Live with your wives in an understanding way as with a weaker vessel.
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Man, some people just want to get up and leave, don't they? A weaker vessel. In what sense what sense is a wife weaker than her husband?
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Well, I don't see anything in scripture that says she's intellectually weaker than her husband. I don't see any sense in which she is emotionally weaker than her husband. In
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fact, because women tend to be more in touch with their own feelings, the way they deal with the emotions and feelings with others shows much more
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courage and much more maturity than most men. And certainly scripture doesn't indicate that they are morally or spiritually
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behind men as believers. And they're not weaker than men because God, as we read in 1 Corinthians 11,
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delegated the authority in the household in the relationship between husband and wife. He delegated it to a man. Christ is the head of every man. Paul writes,
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"And the man is the head of a woman and God is the head of Christ." It it's God's economy. It's not man deciding that this was be the way it is. He was
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the one that thought of that. And never does the the scriptures indicate that women are as Peter
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writes about them in the first century that the society thought of them as a lower class of humanity than man.
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How is a wife the weaker vessel? I think Peter means that women are weaker in terms of physical strength.
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And while in verse six of chapter 3, we we read we read that they are to be to do what is right. It says at the end of verse 6, without being frightened by any fear,
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the husband must never ever abuse his wife or any woman for that matter. Never striking her, striking her, never bullying her, never threatening
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her. And I would add, never use Peter's words in this passage to do demean her for being weak or
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The husband is to render honor to his wife as a co-air of the grace of life. By saying honor,
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Peter is essentially saying men and women are fundamentally equal. Like Paul says in Galatians 3, there there is neither male nor female. They though
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they may function differently in the marriage, they are equal before the Lord. And and and Peter's admonition is is unique not only in his day in the Greco
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Roman world. Wow. This was subversive but also in his view that of the esquetology that Christian men and women, husbands
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and wives share the same destiny. They have an internal inheritance in the kingdom of God.
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But as Edund Clowney wrote, respect is not a strong enough word here. Honor means preciousness.
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A wife is to be considered precious because she is honored by God and precious in his sight and holy, separated unto him.
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And a husband must not fail to honor her as God honors her. And again in this the words of the Greek continuing to grant her honor as a fellow heir.
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fellow heir. They're heirs joint heirs of lifegiving grace. In that same passage where Paul says there is neither slave nor free man
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or woman. He ends that in the next verse by saying they are heirs according to promise. Peter is not saying something that Paul
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did not. They agree. And grace is important to Peter. He begins his book with grace and he ends his his his letter with grace. In chapter 1 verse
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two, grace and peace be yours in fullest measure. And in chapter five, the end of the letter, he says, I've written to you exhorting and testifying that this is
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the true grace of God. So when we read these things and and we follow the
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follow the spirit of the day, the the railing against these things, seeing, you know, live with your wives in an understanding way is the weaker vessel. People and
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honor my wife. No, but it's the grace of God. It's meant to be overflowing in these things. It it
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means that all that God has done for us and all that God will do for us will be ours in this grace.
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And for men and women, husbands and wives in Christ, there's no difference in terms of the supply or the quality of the grace they receive from God.
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And Peter indicates what some have called a contemplated result. Again, he's not saying, "You're not doing these things. You better get on the stick and do them." There there is this in the language,
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anticipating that their prayers will not be hindered.
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Grant honor and your prayers will not be hindered. Peter again, he sees them as continuing to treat their wives as the individuals they are
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and how they are precious in God's sight. But he anticipates that their prayers will not be hindered.
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As one of the commentators wrote, "How could they engage in prayers or expect God to hear them if they persist in or fall back into the old pagan ignorances
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in the treatment of their wives hindered? Your prayers will be hindered if you do not honor your wife.
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Your prayers will be blocked. It'll be like there's a that ceiling and the prayers will just bounce back to you. The prayers will lose their
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effectiveness. The the idea behind this word hindered is obstacles will be thrown in the way of your prayers.
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We remember the words of James in chapter 5. The effective prayer of the righteous man will accomplish much. No, it won't. it won't. If the husband fails to live with his
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wife according to knowledge and granting her honor as a co-air, God will block your prayers. Isaiah says he he'll turn away and will
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not hear. We read from the psalm if if if I have wickedness in my heart, God will not hear. Well, the wickedness may be that I do not follow
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the injunction here to love my wife this way. And it includes all types of hindering.
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and God will refuse even the prayers that do go out. He may quit praying altogether
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and there may be little or no desire to worship at all privately or corporately. And you see this doesn't just affect the
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It affects the whole family and it affects the body of Christ because a man that is not praying, a man that is not engaged in worship is not participating, he's not having coinia in
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I came across this uh the phrase here the challenge of marriage and the challenges to marriage and I think they are individual things and Peter Peter speaks to men so I don't
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apologize addressing these things to men But marriage has its challenges.
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As someone wrote, marriage is a union of two weak and sinful people, though they may be weak and sinful in different ways. different ways. And somehow you have to make that work
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to the glory of God. But the husband is the one who is supposed to turn that relationship of two weak and sinful people into a
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companionship that honors God. It's his responsibility. As RC Sproul, the American theologian, wrote, "After marriage, the biggest
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single influence on the development of the wife's personality and character is the husband."
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Elizabeth Elliott wrote, "The most important thing for you as a man to remember is that a woman cannot properly be a responder unless the man is properly the initiator."
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I don't think they're saying anything that disagrees with what Peter is saying here. You husbands, likewise, I have
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marriage. And in the context of 1 Peter 2 and three or really the whole letter of first Peter, first Peter, the world is watching.
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Again, Peter was very subversive when he when he writes this verse. this verse. Because in his culture women were regarded as unworthy.
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They there was there was no worth, no honor, no respect for women. But Christianity rewrote history for
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women. Christianity elevates women into their proper place of esteem. Peter says they're heirs to the grace of life as well as men.
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He says your fellow travelers in this sojourn as re resident aliens. I'm I I'm elevating you because I'm honoring you and I'm speaking directly to you.
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And we see that they're entitled to all the blessings of grace and faith.
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But a man lacking honor and esteem for women, especially his wife, disposes him, and I guess I should say exposes himself as doineering,
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I don't think that honor in the household can be faked. It may look it to the outside but your wife knows.
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The question is what will the world say about your relationship with your wife? Will it be according to knowledge? Will it be as granting honor? That
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preciousness, that one of all of the things in your household, this is the one that is the most precious and deserves from me the most attention and care.
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Will it end up being as Peter desires in chapter 2:1 15 before the world? For such is the will of God, that by doing right, you husbands
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may silence the ignorance of foolish men. Let us pray. Our Father, we ask
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for your mercy and grace for men, for husbands, that we may take these things to heart that you may drive them home to our very
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souls. knowing that you have given the responsibility to men, that you have ordained it to be this way. And I ask that you would strengthen us
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as husbands, as men in society, in our families, in our church. again, Father, for the foundation of the building of your church, of glorifying
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your name, of being a witness and a light to the world. We ask that you would do these things in Christ's name.
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Amen. Please rise for the benediction from Romans chapter 15. Now may the God who gives perseverance
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and encouragement grant you to be of the same mind with one another according to Christ Jesus that with one accord you may with one voice glorify the God and
